The Starting Problem

Is it controversial to talk about your procrastination problem as an intern?

Maybe.

But it’s a misery most designers deal with, which more than often is branded as laziness.

Sitting on the precipice of a heap of ideas, everywhere you look, the possibilities are endless. I find myself stranded on this peak. The juxtaposition of a sky full of opportunity and the unending meteor shower of deadlines often results in burnout and half-baked gratification from doing the bare minimum. I have so many ideas in my head but the piece of paper in front of me or the computer screen in front of me is blank. It is impossible for someone to be burnt out for so long. Unless you’re not doing what you love. Fortunately, I’ve been inclined to create visuals like a moth to a flame, drooling over Monet half my life.

Procrastination preys on you like an apex predator, looming over your head while you graze on social media and pretend as though there’s no imminent danger. Before you know it, it’s an extreme sport and you’re being chased for your life. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m not motivated but thinking about doing things and not actually doing them, makes you way better at: thinking. You start rationalizing behavior that ultimately is going to cause a train wreck. You tell yourself you can afford to delay the task until you can’t delay it anymore, which is when you start to tell yourself it’s okay to delay the task. It’s the burst of overconfidence that it’s not going to rain drenched in a downpour of guilt.

The audacity of my brain to constantly set me up for “you can do better” is appalling.

Affirmations are not the soul fuel that people make them out to be. Toxic positivity disgusts me and I’d rather have a wallpaper that says “Is this what you want to do with your life?”. Because maybe I can’t do it. Maybe I’m not skilled enough for it. Maybe procrastination stems from believing that you aren’t skilled enough or capable of doing the task as well as you want to. That’s why you’re afraid to

begin. *mic drop*

I remember reading somewhere that “it’s better to make shit art, than no art” and for the longest time, decided it was okay to make art or create designs that were, well, bad. But after ruminating for a while, it has come to my realization that it’s not that shit art is good, but making it puts you in the process of making more art. Which makes it a practice. And the more you practice something, the better you get at it. All you have to do is start.